When the Cardinals closed out 2009 with 91 wins (both actual and Pythagorean), they wrapped up the 27th-best 10-year period in their history by Pythagorean Win % (of 119 10-year periods, starting with the 1882 season). Within that, they featured the 14th-best five-year run (.586). How’d they do it? With some stellar players. So without further ado, we present our Cardinals all-decade team from 2000-2009, as part of the United Cardinal Bloggers‘ January project.

Catcher

The Cardinals had two of the best defensive catchers in baseball during the 2000s in Mike Matheny and Yadier Molina. Molina gets the nod for being a notch better with the leather and the lumber.

First Base

One of the team’s best players of any century, Albert Pujols also led the team in games in the 2000s with 1399 (Jim Edmonds was a distant second with 1105). We included Tino Martinez as runner-up, but there really is no runner-up here.

Second Base

Fernando Vina played a PED-aided superior second base and hit more effectively than Aaron Miles. If only Skip Schumaker had broken in at second base…

Third Base

Scott Rolen was the team’s best third baseman since Ken Boyer, and probably its best-fielding third-sacker in its history. He easily beats out the man whom the Cardinals traded for him, Placido Polanco.

Shortstop

Observers thought that the Cardinals wouldn’t be able to replace Edgar Renteria at shortstop. The team came pretty close with Eckstein, who gave the Cardinals the best three years of his career (6.4 WAR total). It’s just that Renteria’s five in the decade were better, both in fielding and in cumulative run production.

Left Fielder

Chris Duncan actually created the most runs of any Cardinal left fielder in the 2000s. But Ray Lankford, who played a year and a half at the beginning of the decade then returned for the 2004 season, bettered him in RC/G and fielding.

Center Fielder

Perhaps the centerfielder of the decade in all of baseball (only Carlos Beltran has an argument), Jim Edmonds was second only to Pujols as contributor to the team’s success in the 2000s.

Right Fielder

Tony La Russa might not want to admit it, but JD Drew was the team’s best right fielder of the aughts. As productively as Ryan Ludwick has played the last three seasons, Drew — led by a Pujols-like .432 wOBA in 2001 — outperformed him before leaving for greener pastures.

Starting Pitchers
Though we prefer a traditional four-man starting-pitching staff, we decided to go with a full five for this fantasy team (it’s not like it’s a real team, anyway, right?). To create a short list, let’s start with all the Cardinal pitchers with at least 50 starts in the decade:

Carpenter, Wainwright and Morris are locks. Carpenter was hands-down the team’s best pitcher of the decade, and Morris led in games started, batters faced and strikeouts, and his 3.81 FIP proves that he provided quality and not merely quantity. The fourth and fifth spots are a bit tougher to select, but it’s hard to argue against Woody Williams, whose 3.83 FIP is well ahead of the next-best in Joel Pineiro. Pineiro’s 4.03 FIP is so similar to Daryl Kile’s 4.06 that, given Kile’s clear superiority in games started, batters faced and strikeouts, Kile gets the nod.

Relief Pitcher
If you require a relief pitcher for this all-decade team and don’t want to simply use the sixth-best starter, let’s look at reliever expected wins added (WXRL), a reliable stat for relievers from Baseball Prospectus. We’ve converted these relief pitchers’ aggregate totals to a WXRL/9 to see who who was most effective and not merely most used in pressure situations (since WXRL is a counting stat):

Franklin makes it close, but Isringhausen has him in both cumulative and rate stats.

So the team looks like this:

So when did these players’ time with the club overlap?

2004 was indeed a magical year, and for good reason: 10 of the 13 players we picked for the all-decade team played together on that pennant-winning club.

With the biggest news these days being spring-training invitations (welcome, Rich Hill!), let’s take advantage of the lull and look back at those athletic players who resisted natural forces to move rightward along the defensive spectrum, shall we? Here, for the fourth year, are our Defensive-Spectrum Beaters.

First, let’s make sure that what we have considered to be the defensive spectrum is still indeed the correct order. Here are the major-league splits by position over the last five years (2005-2009), using Gross Production Average (GPA):

So our current spectrum is:

1B – RF – LF – 3B – CF – 2B – SS – C

The notable difference from the conventional spectrum is that RF and LF are flipped (LF has generally been considered to the left of RF). Granted, this flip is arguable, given the slight difference in GPA (.269, .268) between the two positions the last five years. The difference between centerfield and second base appears to be closing, also, but their order is unchanged.

In that context, then, let’s see which players even qualified. As an arbitrary cutoff, we’ll include all players who played at least 500 innings in 2009 at a leftward position from a position that they played at least 500 innings in 2008:

If we dig a little deeper, we can trim that list of eight down to seven. Garrett Atkins, while he did hit the 500-inning minimum at first base in 2008, also played 500 innings at third that year, so we’ll disqualify him. Denard Span broke in playing some centerfield in 2008, but he logged only 116 2/3 innings, so he stays. So, too, Alexei Ramirez played only a handful of innings (53) in 2008 at shortstop, the position where he qualified in 2009. Ditto Asdrubal Cabrera (154 2/3 innings at shortstop in 2008). Franklin Gutierrez has played some centerfield each year since debuting in 2005 but only had 97 innings there with the Indians in 2008 (and, until 2009, had played a majority of his games in right). Kosuke Fukudome played some centerfield for the Cubs in 2008 and in Japan (where he also played 11 games at shortstop in his rookie year), but not enough to be disqualified. Teahen broke in as a third baseman, logging 1068 1/3 innings there in 2005, but played only 166 innings there in 2008 after KC moved him to the outfield to make way for Alex Gordon. And, as Cardinal fans know, the only time Skip Schumaker set foot near second base prior to 2009 was when he got an extra-base hit.

So of the seven remaining candidates, which ones actually held their own at the plate (one of the criteria for being a defensive-spectrum beater)? This year, we’re going to index the positions by their respective GPAs, in an attempt to normalize players’ offensive performances (e.g., a .260 GPA as a shortstop is much better than .260 as a first baseman). Here’s what each player did while playing the position for which he is being considered:

Now let’s apply the positional averages…

… to come up with what we’ll call a position-adjusted GPA (poGPA+):

With Ramirez just missing the cut, that leaves a bumper crop of six defensive-spectrum beaters for 2009! And, since everyone but Schumaker had previously played at least a few innings at the rightward position for which he was "nominated," one might say Schumaker was the one true defensive-spectrum beater in 2009. We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again, “Remember Howie Shanks!”

The 2009-2010 offseason will go down as one of the most momentous in the annals of Cardinal history. Unfortunately, rather than progressively exciting us about the upcoming season, the series of signings and events has left us wishing that we could just cancel the 2010 season.

Cardinals lose NLDS to Dodgers: Sure, the Cardinals stank during the playoffs. But we’re wise enough to know that the short series could just as easily have gone the Cardinals’ way. With most of the team’s best players returning, and a few of the duds leaving, we couldn’t wait for a few smart offseason pickups and then the start of spring training.

La Russa returns as manager, McGwire to coach: We were somewhat indifferent prior to the announcement — "LaRuncan should stay, principally out of lack of alternatives." But if getting another year of La Russa is like buying a used Camry, getting McGwire in the deal is like finding the trunk full of highly enriched uranium. Uh, on second thought…

Cardinals sign Penny: What is the record for a contract given to a player who was released the previous season? La Runcan evidently sees Penny not as the pitcher whom Boston released last August, who has pitched 200 innings only twice in his 10-year career and who apparently has a bad work ethic, but someone who will apparently solidify the rotation.

Freese arrested, charged with DWI: With the Cardinals keeping their piggy bank intact, intending to give it to Matt Holliday, they had all but given the third-base job to rookie David Freese. And what does he do? He drinks at least seven beers and gets behind the wheel of his car. The drunk-driving arrest would be disturbing by itself, but it was at least his second such cretinous decision. Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggioThurston?

Holliday signs seven-year contract: Yes, it’s a point of prestige for Cardinal fans that the team signed the biggest free agent on the market. And yes, he will certainly help the team in 2010 and at least a couple of years after that (we found back in October that recent corner outfielder free-agent contracts generally start losing money in year four). But considering that the Cardinals had no clear rival bidder and that they probably ended up overpaying, it’s hard to get too excited, knowing that, come 2015, Cardinal fans are going to have forgotten all about how proud they were to have outbid the Yankees and Red Sox back in 2010. If they booed Jason Isringhausen, who gave fans several good years and made much less than Holliday, just imagine this town when this "Zito-like contract" matures.

McGwire issues statement: Easily the most depressing move of the offseason, from Bill DeWitt, Jr. to the steroided slugger himself. Our thoughts on this are well-documented.

Fans give McGwire standing ovation at winter warmup: It’s one thing for people to treat you as a rube. It’s another to open your mouth and prove that you deserve it. Everyone from DeWitt to John Mozeliak to Tony La Russa to McGwire is treating Cardinal Nation as they ought: a bunch of mindless lemmings. Seriously, it’s one thing to be ambivalent about a guy who admits to using steroids to break records and earn millions of dollars. It’s another to greet him like a conquering hero. Whitey Herzog said it best : "The people in in St. Louis give Mark McGwire a standing ovation the other day, and Jack Clark said every steroid user should be banned from baseball, and they booed him. Now, what the hell is the matter with society when that happens?"

Pujols equivocates at winter warmup: Not so long ago, regarding an extension to his $100-million contract, Albert Pujols said "It’s not about the money. I already got my money. It’s about winning and that’s it." Never mind that he said this in the midst of one of winningest periods in team history, but just weeks after the Cardinals basically sell the family farm to bring back Holliday — the single-biggest display of commitment to winning that the Cardinals could’ve done this winter — Pujols said at the Winter Warmup that although "It’s hard to even think about playing somewhere else," he added that "If I have to, I can play somewhere else" and that "My timetable is when I’m a free agent." Again, just days after the Cardinals decisively demonstrate their commitment to win, Pujols moves the fences back on the team, saying "It’s a commitment the Cardinals orgnanization will have to make." Will have to make? Pal, the Cardinal organization has made its commitment, time and time again. We had hoped that Cardinal fans had at least one remaining hero who had integrity. Now we’re not so sure.

More recently, of course, the Cardinals avoided arbitration and signed Ryan Ludwick: Great. At this point, we don’t know if any news is enough to revive our flatlined anticipation of the season. The damage has been done, but we’re open to suggestions. Can anyone help?

[Author's note: We've been unwavering in our criticism of Mark McGwire lately, prompting our esteemed blogging colleague Erik Manning to ask "What needs to happen for you to be satisfied with all this?" In short, for McGwire to turn back the hands of the clock and redo his apology. Here's what it would say.]

When the Cardinals hired me as hitting coach back in October, I did not attend the press conference, nor did I, as team officials promised, address the media and fans soon after. I did not do so because I was afraid to, as a result of bad decisions I have made, the consequences of which I have been running from for a long time. Now I realize that I cannot run from them any longer, because I cannot return to baseball without telling fans the truth about how I played the game.

Very simply, I cheated. Throughout my career, on a regular basis, I used many kinds of drugs, illegal by the laws of this country and expressly forbidden by the commissioner, in order to improve my performance on the field and gain an edge over other players. I tell you now that the player that thousands of fans paid to see hit home runs, bought replica jerseys of and encouraged their kids to emulate cheered for a phony.

For too long, fans and media have waged a debate over the legitimacy of my (and others’) records, based on the uncertainty over the use of and the effectiveness of performance-enhancing drugs. Today, I wish to clarify and end that debate. I do not hold fans with such contempt that I feel I can trick them into believing that PEDs did not help. They obviously did, or I wouldn’t have tried them, nor would I have hit 70 home runs in the decline phase of an honest ballplayer’s career. At that time, professional athletes of many sports, including baseball and including me, were well aware of how, for example, Olympic athletes were gaining tremendous advantages, and I wanted to, also. Among other benefits, I was able to work out in a way that allowed me to recover quickly and I improved my bat speed tremendously, so much that in 1998, when I was 34 years old, my bat speed was clocked at 99 mph, the fastest swing ever measured.

As the FBI already found out and has been reported in places like the New York Daily News, my regimen consisted of one-half cc of testosterone cypionate every three days; one cc of testosterone enanthate per week; the veterinary steroids Equipoise and Winstrol V, one quarter cc every three days, injected into the buttocks, one in one cheek, one in the other. That was two to four times as strong as those a patient would receive at a clinic. It aided in my recovery from injuries, but it went above that range, giving me performance enhancement to help me reach levels I never would have.

I knew they were illegal by the laws of our country, because I had to conduct my regimen in private, with people I trusted not to rat me out. I did not have a doctor oversee what I was doing, because no ethical doctor would have prescribed anabolic steroids for a healthy person, even one with the injuries I had (which were likely caused by the drugs I took). I knew they were against the rules that Commissioner Vincent set forth in his memo in 1991, because I did them without most of my teammates knowing (when you travel and live with 25 guys for up to eight months of the year and they don’t know something about you, it’s because you’re trying your best to hide it). Moreover, in my heart of hearts, I knew they were against the spirit of honest competition, no matter how many other players were doing them or that the players’ union never agreed to the commissioner’s ban, because some players were not taking them, and it wasn’t because they didn’t know how or where to get them.

To all the players who played the game the right way — that is, who didn’t take performance-enhancing drugs — I am sorry. I am sorry because all of us who used those drugs and — make no mistake — established the steroids era created an environment in which many of those honest players either had to join us to stay in the majors or find themselves out of a job. I was blind to their plight, because I was a star from my rookie season, but I am without excuse. I am sorry to all of those honest players in the game today, who must live with the suspicion of being users.

To the Maris family, I am sorry. I am sorry because I stole the single-season home run record from Roger Maris. Stealing is taking something that doesn’t belong to you, which, by cheating, is exactly what I did. I realize that I have rendered the record book less meaningful. They have every right to hold Roger’s record as the authentic one, whether the record book says it or not.

To Jose Canseco, my brother and others, I am sorry. I am sorry for for allowing them to be criticized and their reputations tarnished, while I kept silent. I apologize to Tony La Russa, whom I put in the difficult position of knowing about my use but having his career depend on my success. He has spent many years defending my reputation, preferring to protect both of us to telling the truth, and I was the cause.

To the Hooten family and others to whom I pledged to do all I could to help, I am sorry. I am sorry for not following through with my pledge to help kids understand the physical dangers of taking steroids, or, perhaps as importantly, of the disgracefulness of cheating.

To those working for justice in this country, I am sorry. I am sorry for being too cowardly to testify and cooperate on various occasions. As another consequence of my actions, I will now face the music of civil justice. To that end, I have contacted the FBI to offer whatever help I can in order to aid their efforts to curb illegal steroid use and trafficking. I will not seek immunity as I did prior to the congressional hearings and am prepared to take whatever legal punishment I am liable for.

To young players and young fans, I am sorry. I am sorry because I have furthered the idea that using drugs and cheating does pay. I made more than $75 million in this game. I realize that, from a material perspective, I have given you 75 million reasons *to* do whatever you can to succeed, even if it’s illegal and unethical. Beyond back acne and shrunken testicles, I have endured little else physically, though I was probably luckier than most, and you can check with organizations like the Hooten Foundation to learn more about the physical ramifications of illegal drugs. But if your life is more than mere material wealth, all I can say is to consider what you become when you cheat.

To all of the fans who supported me by buying tickets to the game, watching me on TV, buying merchandise with my name on it, I am sorry. I am sorry because I allowed others to market me as an authentic hero, when in fact I was a fraud. I apologize to the fans who did not see me play but, because of my legacy, now watch a game that is that much poorer for my involvement in corrupting it and casting an air of illegitimacy and suspicion over the game and its records.

I realize that many fans and media will reply that all is forgiven, and I appreciate that. But this isn’t principally about me seeking, needing and receiving forgiveness: It’s about me taking responsibility for my actions and being humble enough to swallow my pride, which, truth be told, is why I took steroids and evaded the truth in the first place. If I am truly sincere, I realize that I cannot really be sorry about my wrongdoing and still expect to do everything I want as if I hadn’t. So I must finally face the consequences, one of which is not being able to work in baseball — coaching in the very thing that I built my sham career on, hitting. As much as I want to return to the game I love, I will finally put the game ahead of my own selfish interest. If major-league baseball and the Cardinals, including Tony — who only a year ago said that to have a zero tolerance policy, we need punitive measures — do not recognize the incompatible witness of their public stance against drugs and their ongoing promotion and elevation of its known offenders, I do. I therefore respectfully resign my post as Cardinals hitting coach. I do so in the hope that this small act will demonstrate my sincerity in wanting to rid the game of unethical and illegal performance-enhancing drugs. If I can persuade at least one person to turn away from the temptation of drugs, I will have gained as much satisfaction as I would have helping Cardinal hitters.

I realize that, because of my actions and my actions alone, I have tarnished the game and hurt many people, some profoundly. During my playing career, I enjoyed the reputation and legacy of a hero. But I am not nor was I a hero. A hero plays by the rules of the game, no matter how he performs. A hero looks for an honest way to improve himself, not a shortcut to greatness. A hero tells the truth, even when it costs him something. I have not done those things. I hereby bid the game goodbye, hoping that at last, I may have done something to undo a fraction of what I have done.

The St. Louis Cardinals’ presumptive hitting coach Mark McGwire issued a statement yesterday that you might have heard about, and Cardinals’ chairman Bill DeWitt, general manager John Mozeliak and manager Tony La Russa also chimed in with addenda. Here are some of our off-the-cuff responses.

Mark McGwire

Now that I have become the hitting coach for the St. Louis Cardinals, I have the chance

Now you have "the chance"? Right, no one would’ve listened to you before you became a major-league hitting coach. Perhaps the expression you’re searching for is "necessity" or "condition of my employment."

to do something that I wish I was able to do five years ago.

What exactly stopped you then? Or during the ensuing five years?

I never knew when, but I always knew this day would come. It’s time for me to talk about the past and to confirm what people have suspected. I used steroids during my playing career and I apologize.

What are you apologizing for, exactly?

I remember trying steroids very briefly in the 1989/1990 off season and then after I was injured in 1993, I used steroids again. I used them on occasion throughout the nineties, including during the 1998 season. I wish I had never touched steroids. It was foolish and it was a mistake. I truly apologize.

Why was it foolish and a mistake? You made at least $75 million in your career. The kids (and maybe even a few adults) are going to have a tough time seeing how it was so foolish.

Looking back, I wish I had never played during the steroid era.

You sound like a real victim of circumstances. But wait a second: Weren’t you one of the very players who defined the steroid era? Does that mean that you wish you never even existed? We’re so confused.

During the mid-90s, I went on the DL seven times and missed 228 games over five years. I experienced a lot of injuries, including a rib cage strain, a torn left heel muscle, a stress fracture of the left heel, and a torn right heel muscle. It was definitely a miserable bunch of years and I told myself that steroids could help me recover faster. I thought they would help me heal and prevent injuries too.

You’re really tugging at our heartstrings with that injury list (which, incidentally, is more detailed than your explanation of your steroid use). You’re a regular Mickey Mantle. By the way, is it possible that you have it the other way around? How do you know that using PEDs didn’t lead to some of the injuries?

I’m sure people will wonder if I could have hit all those home runs had I never taken steroids.

We know you’ve lived in seclusion for the last few years, but don’t play dumb. People have been wondering that for the last decade and longer. And, deep down, in your heart of hearts, don’t you wonder, too?

I had good years when I didn’t take any and I had bad years when I didn’t take any. I had good years when I took steroids and I had bad years when I took steroids. But no matter what, I shouldn’t have done it and for that I’m truly sorry.

If you say "no matter what," why include the discourse about the effects? If you want us to believe your records are legit, just say so. And again, what are you sorry for? We’re starting to wonder if you’re not simply sorry that you’ve been forced to confess.

Baseball is really different now – it’s been cleaned up.

Baseball sure is different now — a lot of us ballplayers have been caught! And a few people actually care that we used PEDs. But really, are we supposed to trust you, or anyone else in the game right now?

The Commissioner and the Players Association implemented testing and they cracked down, and I’m glad they did.

Why are you glad? You were none too glad when the Feds tried to crack down on you; you stonewalled and avoided the consequences.

I’m grateful to the Cardinals for bringing me back to baseball. I want to say thank you to Cardinals owner Mr. DeWitt, to my GM, John Mozeliak, and to my manager, Tony La Russa. I can’t wait to put the uniform on again and to be back on the field in front of the great fans in Saint Louis.

You mean you can’t wait to put the uniform on again and pretend this never happened? And remember, fans: You’re great, so McGwire knows you’re not going to hold this against him. Because love means never holding someone accountable or letting them face consequences, right?

I’ve always appreciated their support and I intend to earn it again, this time as hitting coach. I’m going to pour myself into this job and do everything I can to help the Cardinals hitters become the best players for years to come.

This is going to be a big challenge for me, since I wasn’t able to make it in the game myself without cheating.

After all this time, I want to come clean.

Spare us the crap about how volitional and courageous this is. After all this time, you’ve been forced to come clean or risk becoming a distraction that the team can’t bear. At least give us the respect of being honest when you decide to come clean.

I was not in a position to do that five years ago in my Congressional testimony,

Let’s t ry that again, Mark: If you weren’t in a position to do it, it was because you were too cowardly to face the consequences of telling the truth. It’s okay, but just be honest with us.

but now I feel an obligation to discuss this and to answer questions about it. I’ll do that, and then I just want to help my team.

You sound like you’re threatening us with a time limit on how long you’ll answer questions. If you’re really sorry, as you repeatedly say you are, you’ll accept the consequences of your actions, one of which is answering questions as long as people have them. Like they say, if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.

Bill DeWitt, Jr.

On behalf of the entire Cardinals organization, I believe Mark McGwire today did the right thing by telling the truth and openly acknowledging his past mistakes. No one condones what Mark did more than 10 years ago, but we hired him as our hitting coach because we know there are many contributions that Mark can and will make to our team and to this game.

Thanks for emphasizing how long ago that was! We couldn’t possibly make a hiring decision based on what a man did so long ago. And what exactly does it look like to "not condone" someone these days, if you can do something "not condoned" but still get a job in the specific field where you did the thing that wasn’t condoned? Does "not condone" even mean anything anymore? At least show us some dignity that we deserve as humans with brains.

Because of the efforts of Commissioner Bud Selig, who implemented the toughest drug testing program in professional sports,

Please don’t make this worse by invoking Selig, whose entire tenure as commissioner has been spent overseeing the PED era.

the Major League Baseball culture as it relates to use of performance-enhancing substances has vastly improved over the last decade.

What does that have to do with McGwire and your decision to hire him? Stop treating us like idiots.

I’m glad Mark has gone public and the Cardinals welcome him back as our hitting coach.

You do realize that fans have no reason to believe that you are serious about the use of PEDs in baseball, right?

John Mozeliak

Mark is going to make an outstanding hitting coach. He’s a smart student of the game and he has a lot of valuable lessons he can teach our ballplayers. I’m glad Mark has gotten this off his chest and he can proudly begin the next chapter of his life. I can’t wait to see him back in uniform.

Ah, yes, it’s all about McGwire, isn’t it? Mozeliak’s statement shows he has no clue about how some fans feel about the sport, the team and individuals’ hypocrisy and blindness. Would it kill him to say something like, "I understand why people are upset, since we perpetrated a fraud"? Is it that hard?

Tony La Russa

No one on the teams I managed worked harder or better than Mark.

Like a cheap lawyer, La Russa is at it again dropping red herrings. Is this relevant, your honor?

And now, his willingness to admit mistakes, express his regret, and explain the circumstances that led him to use steroids add to my respect for him.

He’s a hero, I tell ya! And, ah, yes, "the circumstances that led him to use steroids." See, the circumstances made him do it. Sorry, McGwire is not a victim. Save the victim language for your ARF animals.

I’ve defended Mark because I observed him develop his unique power hitting skill through a rigorous physical and fundamental work out program.

Back in 2005, La Russa was “absolutely certain that Mark earned his size and strength from hard work and a disciplined lifestyle." Now he’s telling the same story because — look closely — he never said that McGwire earned his size and strength exclusively from hard work. See what you can do with a law degree?

He has a lot to offer our team as our hitting coach. We look forward to his being part of the 2010 Cardinals."

Translation: Hey, Brian, could you just tack on some of our boilerplate corporate bull#$%@ to conclude? Thanks, Tony